Purim

Story & Service

The origins of Purim are shrouded in history. No one is certain that the events told in the Book of Esther actually occurred, or, if so, when. Taken at face value, the story suggests that it took place a couple of generations after the destruction of Jerusalem in 586 BCE, after the Persian Empire conquered the Babylonian Empire that had destroyed Judea and Jerusalem. Regardless of its original veracity, the story has taken on a life of its own and Jews through the past two thousand years have understood the events described in the Book of Esther to have the potential for occurring at any time.

This little Purim-Shpeil is written for those small communities of dispersed families that can't gather on all the holidays but can get togehter to celebrate holidays on the closest Shabbat.

Please feel free to print and duplicate this text and use it in community. It was developed many years ago (Purim 1976) for BCC (Beth Chayim Chadashim) and somewhat refined a few times since then. The text has a number of unusual puns regarding which I say: "HaMeivin Yavin."

Most of the text is designed to be read by a "leader" and the "congregation" (the congregation's text is in italics). Periodically antiphonal readings also appear; the designated groups will be so labeled.

Alternatively, you can assign readers to Ahasuerus, Haman and Esther along with a leader and "Chorus" (the various individual readers' parts are indicated).

We look on this Shabbat towards Purim--on the Day of Rest we look to the holiday of Unrest, of mirth and laughter, foolish kings and dazzling queens, virtuous heroes and heroines and murderous villains.

Shabbat brings us joy--the profound joy that follows days of satisfying work and that permits us to close a book of week-long struggles for that blissful infinity between a day's two sunsets.

All Rise

Blessed are you Adonai our God, Sovereign of all space and time who directs us to light these candles in honor of Shabbat.

Praise Adonai, who is worthy of all praise!

Praised is Adonai, who is worthy of all praise through all time and space!

Praise Adonai with the story of Purim; the story of how our people overcame a foe who wanted to destroy us all.

Praised is Adonai our God, Sovereign of all space and time, who makes us special with Mitzvot and directs us to read the Megillah of Esther.

Blessed art Thou Adonai Our God, Sovereign of all space and time, who has done fabulous deeds for our ancestors in those days at this time of year.

Blessed art Thou Adonai Our God, Sovereign of all space and time, who has kept us alive, sustained us and enabled us to reach this joyous occasion.

Please be seated

Ahashverosh!

What?

Mordecai!

Who?

Let us tell of Esther.

And...

Haman.

And of the last minute rescue of our people from extinction.

In the days of Ahashverosh, king of Persia, ruler of one hundred twenty-seven provinces from India to Ethiopia, a royal banquet was given in the palace of Shushan in Susa.

(to the tune of "Downtown")

When you are Persian
In the mood for diversion
You can always go:

Shushan!

Looking for action?
Well here's an attraction
Just truck on down--

Shushan!

Just listen to the bustle of the
Crowded market square;
Exotic girls will hustle you
And you won't have a care;
How can you lose?
The climate is hotter there
You can forget all your clothing
Forget underwear--

and go Shushan.

Where every girl can dance--

Shushan

You may forget your pants--

Shushan

Everyone's waiting for you.

Shushan the palace with white cotton curtains and blue hangings, fine linen with silver rings.

And couches of gold and silver on a mosaic pavement of mother-of pearl, marble and precious stones.

And royal wine in golden goblets.

Such was the court of Ahashverosh.

But where is Queen Vashti?

King Aha

"Bring her before me,"

leader

commanded the king, and the seven eunuchs who served as his chamberlains went to fetch her.

But she refused to appear.

The king was enraged, and his anger burned within him. He turned to his advisers and asked their opinions.

King Aha

"She has done wrong not only to you but to all the people in all your provinces.

"Her example will be imitated by other women, and they, too, will look with contempt upon their husbands. She may start a movement of women who are willing to live lives independent of men!

"Far and wide they will tell the story of how the king was made to look foolish by a queen."

Replace her with another!

leader

And so it was done.

"Let beautiful young girls be sought out for the King. Gather them in Susa the capital. And let the maiden who best pleases the king be then made queen."

And so it was done. They held the first Miss Persia Contest in a beach resort called Gulf City.

Now there lived in the capital a Jew by the name of Mordecai. He had a beautiful cousin who he had raised. Her name was Esther. She was the daughter of Mordecai's departed uncle.

May he rest in peace.

Esther also applied for the contest and was taken into the king's palace. But before she left, Mordecai cautioned her not to mention that she was a Jew.

One could not be too careful.

Which is nothing new for the Jews.

Upon seeing Esther, the head eunuch in the king's harem favored her. He quickly provided her with a credit card and ointments and her portion of food and gave her seven maids from the kings palace, and advanced her to the best place in the harem.

And he coached her.

He prepared her for the moment when she would go before the king. She learned how to play piano, read stories dramatically and play a good game of chess.

The Sheherezade story began. One by one the young women visited the king and-then were moved to the second harem, thus becoming concubines.

And each did not see the king again, unless the king delighted in her and she was summoned by name. For to enter the royal court before being called by name was to sign one's own death certificate.

One by one, night after exhausting night, the young women visited the king.

(to the tune of "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind")

Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy. It's not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind.

Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There're so many changes and tears you must hide.
Did you ever have to finally decide.

Sometimes there's one with painted nails
All red with enamel
Then you spot another who moves like a camel
And just when you think she's the queen of your dreams
Then this cute little quail strolls by and drops her seventh veil.

Then you know you'd better make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy. It's not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind.

Until it was Esther's turn. The king, upon seeing her, loved her more that all the women. She did as the eunuch had coached her, and she found grace and favor in the king's sight more than all the girls. And so he set the royal crown on her head and made her queen.

Then the king gave a great banquet for all the princes and all the officials in the one hundred twenty-seven provinces from India to Ethiopia. It was Esther's banquet. All Hail Queen Esther!

Northside

Hail!

Southside

Hail!

And Mordecai sat by the White House gate, kibitizing. It was here that he overheard two of the king's eunuchs talk of overthrowing the king. And Mordecai told of it to Queen Esther, and she told of it to the king.

(to the tune of "I Heard It Through The Grapevine")

I heard it through the grapevine
That your life is on the line
Yeah I heard it through the grapevine
And it isn't such a good sign
Honey, honey, I know.

The co-conspirators were hung, and Mordecai's name was put into the Book of the Chronicles.

Amidst these events, the king promoted Haman. His seat was placed above all the princes who were with him. And all the king's servants who were at the king's gate were to bow down and do homage to Haman. For the king had so commanded concerning him. For he was now second only to the royal throne.

And Haman danced through the corridors and gates of the palace grounds, thinking to himself.

Haman

"Second only to the royal throne. What a glorious day! What a magnificent day! Frabjous day Calu Callay!"

leader

And as he left the palace, all those who stood at the king's gates bowed before the new Premier. All bowed low. All, that is, but Mordecai.

(to the tune of "I Won't Grow Up")

I won't bow down
I don't wanna kiss his feet
I will never put my lips
To anything but kosher meat.

I never ever will bow down
And I'll be damned if I'll bow down to Brown
I'll never bow down, never bow down
Never, to Haman T. Brown!

He alone would not bend his face to the ground. And when Haman saw that Mordecai did not bow...

...he became enraged!

Westside

Incensed!

Eastside

Inflamed!

leader

All bowed before their new Premier--all but this Mordecai. All showed their homage--all but this Jew!

No, the Jew only bowed before his God, rising to declare the unity of the divine:

All Rise

Understand this Israel: The living breathing presence apparent throughout all space and time is our God; this Presence is One!

Blessed is the glorious name of God's leadership throughout all space and time.

Please be seated

And Haman decided to destroy all the Jews. In the one hundred twenty-seven provinces. From India to Ethiopia. To determine the date of this pogrom, Haman cast Pur (plural: Purim), or lots, pick-up sticks, the I Ching, dice, Tarot cards, until he decided on the 12th month: Adar. Then he went to the king.

Haman

"There are these Jews. A strange people who have managed to infiltrate every town and village. They are not like normal subjects of the king. Their customs are different. They refuse to obey the king's laws. Therefore, let it be decreed that they be destroyed, and I will pay you 10,000 talents of silver."

And the king (in his greed) so decreed.

Without batting an eye.

Letters were sent.

To each province, to each prince, to each official, to every people, in every language.

"Destroy, slay, annihilate all Jews, young and old, women and children, in one day: the 13th day of the 12th month of Adar."

This the king decreed.

Without batting an eye.

On hearing the decree, Mordecai rent his clothes. He put on sackcloth and ashes, and he went out into the midst of the city, wailing with a loud and bitter cry.

And in every province, wherever the king's command was posted, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting and weeping and lamenting. With sackcloth and ashes.

Mordecai, sitting again at the king's gate, sent word to Esther of what had happened, and charged her to go to the king, to make supplication to him, and to entreat him for her people.

Esther

"I cannot go to the king's royal court without his calling for me by name. Otherwise I will be put to death."

Mordecai

"You cannot keep silent at a time like this. Perhaps it was for this very moment that you have come to this kingdom."

Esther

"Gather all the Jews to be found here in Susa and hold a fast on my behalf. Neither eat nor drink for three days. Then I will go to the king."

Leader

And on the third day Esther put on her royal robes.

All Rise

"Dear Adonai, be with me at this hour. Grant that I may have the courage to face the king unafraid. And let me have the right words to plead well the cause of my people. Make me the instrument of their deliverance, that this evil hour may soon pass. God, open my lips that my mouth may speak your praises."

Silent Meditation:

If they show me a stone and I say stone they say stone. If they show me a tree and I say tree they say tree. But if they show me blood and I say blood, they say paint. If they show me blood they say paint. Amir Gilboa

If fear is like a rock, then I am a hammer.
If sorrow is a fire, I am the sea.
When it comes, my heart increases its strength;
Like the moon that shines brighter when the darkness falls.
Shem Tov ben Palquera

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, the solid base from which I emerge, giving meaning to my existence.

And so Esther stood in the inner court of the king's palace, opposite the king's hall. But the king did not kill her. Instead, he held out the golden scepter that was in his hand. "What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you, even to the half of my kingdom."

Esther moved forward to touch the tip of the scepter that was extended to her recognizing her.

Women

And Esther invited the king and Haman to dinner.

Men

It was a sumptuous dinner. Nut cups, tureens of chicken soup, brisket, roast lamb, humus and tehina. And as they ate Ahashverosh asked again:

King Aha

"What is your request? Do you want a Nordstrom card? Would you like a subscription to the Utne Reader? Shall I up my pledge to Greenpeace?"

Women

Esther again invited Ahashverosh and Haman to dinner for the following day.

leader

And Haman swelled with pride for only he had been invited to these dinners.

Joyful and glad hearted... until he saw Mordecai.

Ah, yes, Mordecai. Despite the growing splendor of his riches, the number of his sons, the despised decree, all the promotions and all the honors --despite all this, Haman's joy was not full. For he still had to look upon Mordecai sitting there on Pennsylvania Avenue.

"Build a gallows and hang him," advised his wife and friends. "In the morning tell the king to hang Mordecai. Then go merrily with the king to the dinner."

And the idea of a well hung Mordecai pleased him, so the gallows was built.

(to the tune of "Just You Wait Henry Higgins")

Just you wait Morty Schwartz, just you wait.
You'll be sorry when your people meet their fate
From the gallows you'll be swinging
With the sparrows I'll be singing
Just you wait Morty Schwartz just you wait. Until that fateful day arrives
Oh Morty Schwartz, when you and all the Jews of Persia lose their lives.

On the thirteenth of Adar
I'll go raid the nearest bar
Oh, ho ho, little Morty
Down you'll go, Jewish Morty,
Just you wait!

Meanwhile, the king could not sleep. He had eaten too much wonderful food prepared by his Esther. It was the liqueur in the chocolate cups that had done him in. He lay awake, tossing and turning.

(to the tune of "All I Have To Do Is Dream")

Screa...m
Scream scream scream
When I can't sleep
In the night
Stomach upset and uptight
When sominex won't help me
All that I can do is
Screa...m
Scream scream scream

So he commanded that the Book of the Chronicles be read. Its boring contents invariably put him to sleep. His attendants read to him in a slow droning voice so unlike Esther's. And whose name should be written there?

Mordecai.

Right!

King Aha

"What honor or dignity has been bestowed on this Mordecai for saving my life?"

leader

The king asked. And the answer was:

"None."

King Aha

"Who is presently in the outer court?"

leader

The king asked. Fatefully, the answer was

"Haman."

King Aha

"Let him come in."

leader

And when Haman was before him, the king asked,

King Aha

"What shall be done to the man whom the king wishes to honor?"

leader

And all thoughts of hanging Mordecai fled. Tears began to gather in Haman's eyes. So humble was he at being further honored. And his reply, befitting the moment, was short and modest.

Haman

"Robe the man in the royal Brooks Brothers! Seat him in the royal limo! Command a minister to guide him through the streets!"

King Aha

"Make haste, Take my pin stripe and Cadillac, as you have said, and do so to Mordecai the Jew who sits at my gate."

Westside

Pain and misery!

Northside

Misery and pain!

Southside

Sickness in the stomach.

Eastside

And one large ache everywhere!

leader

So felt Haman as he left the palace and did as the king had commanded.

And his wife and friends saw in this the beginning of Haman's fall.

At the second dinner, Ahashverosh again asked Queen Esther,

King Aha

"What is your petition? It shall be granted you."

Esther

"If I have found favor in your sight, and if it pleases you, give me my life and the life of my people."

King Aha

"What is this?"

leader

The confused king asked.

Esther

"We are sold, I and my people, to be destroyed, to be slain, and to be annihilated."

King Aha

"What people?"

leader

Asked the king.

Esther

"The Jews. For I am a Jew."

And Haman blanched.

King Aha

"Who is he where is he, that would presume to do this?"

leader

Asked the king, conveniently forgetting his own decree.

Esther

"A foe and an enemy! Haman!!"

(to the tune of "London Bridge Is Falling Down")

Women:

King, Oh king, Oh save my life,
Save my life, save my life,
King, Oh king, Oh save my life,
Dear Ahashverosh.

Men:

I will save you, my dear wife,
My dear wife, my dear wife,
I will save you, my dear wife,
My dear Esther.

Tell me why you tremble so?
Tremble so, tremble so,
Tell me why you tremble so,
My dear Esther?

Women:

Because of Haman you should know,
You should know, you should know,
Because of Haman you should know,
Dear Ahashverosh.

Men:

What does Haman want to do?
Want to do, want to do,
What does Haman want to do,
My dear Esther?

Women:

He wants to kill us every Jew,
Every Jew, every Jew,
He wants to kill us every Jew,
Dear Ahashverosh.

Do not let him do this thing,
Do this thing, do this thing,
Do not let him do this thing,
Dear Ahashverosh.

Men:

He shall never do this thing,
Do this thing, do this thing,
He shall never do this thing,
My dear Esther.

leader

The king rose from the feast in wrath and went into the palace garden. A distraught Haman threw himself before the raging queen, begging and pleading.

And the king returned to see Haman fallen on the couch where Esther lay.

King Aha

"Will he even assault the queen in my presence, in my own house?"

leader

As the words left the mouth of the king, they covered Haman's face.

Hang him! Hang him on the gallows he had built for Mordecai!

And so it was done.

But the decree was not yet revoked, and it was nearing the 13th of Adar. So Esther went before the king.

Women

"If it please the king..."

Men

"...and if I have found favor in your sight..."

Northside

"...and if the thing seems right before the king...

Southside

"...and if I be pleasing in your eyes..."

Westside

"...revoke the decree devised by Haman."

All

"For how can I endure to see the calamity that is coming to my people? How can I endure the destruction of my kindred?"

leader

And it was done. And letters were sent.

To each province, to each prince, to each official, to every people, in every language.

From India to Ethiopia. And the messengers who carried the letters rode swift horses bred from the royal stud.

What did the letter say?

On the 13th day of the 12th month Adar, the Jews in every city should gather and defend their lives, to destroy, to slay, and to annihilate any armed force of any people that might attack them."

Many people of the country declared themselves Jews for fear that the Jews might fall upon them.

And on the 13th of Adar, the day the enemies of the Jews were to annihilate them, they gained mastery over their foes. And no one could make a stand against them, for the fear of them had fallen upon all the peoples.

Northside

And they slew 75,000 of those who hated them.

Southside

500 in Susa alone.

Eastside

But they laid no hands on the plunder.

Westside

And on the 14th day and on the 15th day, they rested and feasted.

And they called the feast Purim, after the lot that was cast by Haman.

(to the tune of "London Bridge Is Falling Down")
All

All the Jews now laugh and sing,
Laugh and sing laugh and sing,
All the Jews now laugh and sing,
Dear Ahashverosh.

So that's Haman, what of Mordecai?

He was made Prime Minister, second in rank to the king. And he was great among the Jews and popular with the multitudes.

And what of Esther?

Who can find words to speak of her glory?

Westside

Not I.

Eastside

Nor I.

Therefore, look at the sunrise, and let it speak of our beautiful queen. All hail Queen Esther!

All Rise

Let us adore
Eternal Adonai
And bless the Name
Of the Holy One...
Who spread out the heavens
And established the earth
And whose glory
Is revealed in the heavens above
And whose greatness
Is manifest throughout the world.
This is our God, there is none else!

And so we bow and thank You, leader of all leaders, the Unique One, who is the source of all blessing.

For the day will come when Your presence will be recognized throughout all the universe and all will understand that we are part of one life.

As we praise You we are aware of all those who lost their lives because of their belief in the reality of Your presence. Those who died at the time of Esther and Mordecai, those in every generation who were deemed expendable simply because they were Jews. We remember them all as we continue to praise the unity that lies behind all and work for the coming of the divine rule.

May the Source of All caress and protect us.

May the energies of the Source be present within us and be generous to us.

May the Presence of the Source be felt within us and fill us with wholeness.

In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan

by Rufus Learsi (read in mirror image)
to tune of Polly Wolly Doodle

Oh Haman was a high and mighty bluff
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.
He order'd Mordecai to take his derby off,
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.

Chorus:
So we sing, So we sing,
So we sing and raise a row,
For Haman, he was swinging
While Mordecai was singing
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.

But Mordecai sat and laughed in his face
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.
So Hamn swore he'd exterminate his race
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.

Chorus

Ahasuerus was a Jolly little king
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.
He ordered Haman to take a little swing
In Shu-Shu-Shu-shan long ago.

Chorus

Who's the Uncle of the Queen

to tune of Hinky Dinky Parlez-Vous

Who's the uncle of the queen?
Mordechai!
Who's the uncle of the queen?
Mordechai!
Who's the uncle of the queen
Who overheard the plotters mean?
We know his name was Mordechai!

Who was it who saved the king?
Mordecai!
Who was it who saved the king?
Mordecai!
Who was it who saved the king
And his reward was a jeweled ring?
We know his name was Mordechai!

Who rode on a big white horse?
Mordecai!
Who rode on a big white horse?
Mordecai!
Who rode on a big white horse
While Haman walked? We know of course,
We know his name was Mordechai!

Wicked Wicked Man

Oh, once there was a wicked, wicked man,
and Haman was his name, Sir.
He would have murdered all the Jews,
Though they were not to blame, Sir.

Chorus:
Oh tonight we'll merry merry be (3 times)
And nash some hamentaschen...

And Esther was a lovely Queen
Of King Ahashverosh.
When Haman said he'd kill us all,
Oh my, how he did scare us...

Chorus

But Mordecai her cousin bold,
said, "What a dreadful Chutzpa,"
"If guns were but invented now,
This Haman I would shoot, Sir!"

Chorus

When Esther speaking to the King,
Of Haman's plot, did mention,
"Ah, ha," said he, "Oh, no he won't
I'll spoil his bad intention."

Chorus

The guest of honor he shall be,
This clever Mr. Smarty,
And high above us he will swing,
At a little hanging party.

Chorus

Of all his cruel and unkind ways
This little joke did cure him.
And don't forget we owe him thanks
For this jolly feast of Purim.

Chorus